Sunday, September 12, 2010

Bible Solicits Me Via Email

I didn’t know this before, but apparently the Bible has it’s own email account. Yep. I guess everyone is being forced to catch up with technology nowadays.

This is exciting enough information, but what is even more exciting is the fact that the Bible emailed ME!!! What?!?! I know!!!! I feel so important now!

Just in case some of you are sitting there in disbelief, don’t worry… I have evidence:

This is crazy!!! I was really honored until I read the title of the email. Then I just thought, “Really, Bible? You are selling yourself online?”

Besides the fact that emailing lots and lots of people probably is not as effective as, say posting your offer on Craig’s List, I am sincerely surprised at your decrease in values since the last time we met.

Just FYI for everyone reading this, I met Bible in church. I definitely did not think our next meeting would be online when Bible was asking me to buy it. I am disappointed and slightly disillusioned with life in general.



  1. Hahaha. I met Bible. He's ok, drab personality though. Keeps wanting to smite things.

    Fickle Cattle

  2. Agreed. He uses all those weird words too... thou, thine, begot and such... so hard to keep up with his stories, and there are a LOT of them.