Friday, September 10, 2010

The Failings of Being Socially Awkward

Alright. I admit it. I'm not the most socially adept person ever. It's true. This breaks down to mean a lot of different things in my life, one of the main ones being that I have trouble accomplishing simple tasks because there seem to be insurmountable obstacles in my way. I am currently in such a predicament.

I am starving.

I cannot get dinner.


Because I'm socially awkward.

Allow me to explain further:
I have this weird problem with going places by myself. Especially places involving food. I don't know why. If I did I could probably fix it. I will only go to such places if I am not alone. This does not seem like a problem to those of you who have countless friends on your phone that you can call up and chat with anytime, but for someone like me it is a little difficult. This may be because every time I pick up my phone and contemplate calling someone, I have an internal debate about whether or not I would be bothering that person. My mind seems intent on convincing me that I imagined the friendship with this person the entire time and said person is really just somewhat of an acquaintance that I managed to bully the phone number out of. After 10 minutes of enduring this psychological melodrama, I usually believe that this person and I never were, and probably never will be, friends. This means that I have no one to go to the dining hall with except for my roommate.

Roommate would be a viable choice if she were not currently asleep. She's been asleep for hours now (in the middle of the day) and I'm afraid to wake her up. Not because I think she would be angry with me and flail and possibly kill herself, me or both, but because I cannot bring myself to wake up anyone who is sleeping. What if the sleeping person is having the best dream of their entire life and they are about to reach the pinnacle of said dream and I rip them out of it right before that can happen? Wouldn't that be the most disappointing thing ever? I would think so. There is also the chance that they are receiving valuable insights from a deceased relative on the other side. I could wake them up right before they find out when and where a rapist will be waiting for them in the near future. Now I just raped someone... well.... in a way. In either case, I would not want to wake someone up from any sort of sleep. Ever.

So here I am in the middle of this predicament. I suppose I could summon the courage to run over the the student center and grab something quickly, stuff it in a bag, and run back to my dorm while trying to keep my head down so people don't notice the stupid girl who is taking food back to her dorm because no one loves her enough to eat with her. See? I'm totally crazy inside. It's a problem.

Well, let's hope I find a way to get some food before I starve out here.


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