Craig's List Poet

I was severely bored the other day, so I decided to entertain myself by clicking through the Craig’s List personals in my area. Interesting pastime, I know, but bear with me here because it lead to a really good story.

I clicked on one of the links and was met with a sight I had never seen on Craig’s List ever before: a poem. That’s right, folks. Someone is on Craig’s List soliciting people via poetry. I have decided to copy the poem here and add some commentary so you know what went through my head when I originally read this piece of art:

*Note: I do not own any part of this lovely piece of literary genius. All my comments are highlighted and italicized.*

Moments

At fifty years and almost three 

Really? Fifty three years old and you still haven’t found a better way to proposition other men than poetry? Maybe that’s why you’re using Craig’s List…
I have a lot to say 
My thoughts have written one good book 

I would like to read this book…
Twas written in one day

I am now doubtful as to how good this book could be

My life is most unusual 

Yep… you’re writing poetry on Craig’s List… just thought I would point that out…
I’m not a typical gay 
I have my kids, and grandkids, too 
Never a dull day 

I’m not really sure how to respond at this point…

I’m whole, complete and ready now 
To fulfill upon my goal 
My heart is free to give the love 
For which there is no toll 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the only love I can think of for which there is a “toll” would be the kind of “love” you find on a downtown street corner…

I’m looking for my Mr. Right 
His love to fill the hole 

There are so many things that are wrong with that last line…
I’m waiting for his eyes to be 
The mirrors to my soul 

It’s in that moment when we first meet 
That we know it’s yes or no 
We’ll look and guess, we’ll wonder some 
We could just ebb and flow 

And again… are these supposed to be double entendres? I mean, seeing as how you wrote a good book in one day, I expect you didn’t just miss the possible implications here…

A moment can be special yet 
It doesn’t add that much 
I’m looking for one special look 

Wait… if a special moment doesn’t add that much why are you looking for one? Is anyone else confused?
His passion, love and such 

And such??? Might want to clarify there… more entendres…

A lifetime isn’t all that long 
No guarantee of days 

I actually appreciate that line… kudos, Craig’s List Poet
Yet my wish is that I find the man 
Who’ll smile within my gaze. 

If this does make you want to ask 
“Am I the one for him?” 
Then answer this right now, today 
Step out upon that limb 

I like how he includes a poetic version of the “answer this if you dare” line that most Craig’s List users go for… another point for CLP

We’ll never know unless you do 
A mystery it will be 
Could be we are just the ones 
Who love eternally.

I want to know if he finds his eternal love via poetry on Craig’s List… it would certainly restore much of my faith in humanity…

-Kaiti